52: Fear & Laziness
4/2/2013
I broke the ice on Badru’s scene in The Wounded tonight. Got two dozen lines written, establishing her fear of the storm, her search for the canna plant, getting drunk on palm wine, taking shelter under the bridge, needing a vision for the yara of Makoa’s new child – Kembara… Actually, I got quite a bit of information into 24 lines, and my prose was okay.
I’m just glad I finally got into this scene. I don’t know which is my greatest enemy in writing, fear or laziness. Both work together to make sure these books are never written. Tonight I got to it again, but it took me over two weeks. Two weeks after finishing Diallo’s dream scene, and that took three months to get done itself.
Pathetic. And the not writing depresses me. It affects my mood and makes me miserable so I can’t even properly enjoy my laziness.
Present-Day Reflection
7/16/2026
Laziness is no longer an issue with me. I’ve probably been more driven with ambition over the last few years than ever before. I’m at the age of now or never, and I tend to view my work these days as my last shot to make something of my life. Something more than it ever has been.
Fear is still with me, though to a lesser degree, and is more useful than not. Keeps me from being reckless and is the basis for my patience to make sure I’m doing things right. Measure twice and cut once.
