30: A Fool’s Hope
5/14/2012
I finally finished the third scene of “The Kulu”. What a pain in the ass it was. Dribbled out a paragraph here and there, dragging it out. Didn’t enjoy it at all. But I think I got the basic ingredients I need in there and will hopefully be able to breathe life into it on a rewrite later.
I’m hoping the fourth scene will be more fun, I already got the seed for an idea, coming at it from Dougga’s POV. I’m thinking of having him and Diallo in a one-on-one talking about Alena before seeing Kanunga and getting back to the Kulu story. Diallo’s still carrying the doll, setting it down with the Kulu, then being distracted with Dougga while Kanunga finds and picks up the Kulu.
Anyway, this is what I have to work with as I search for a way to make the scene sing – making up for that last mediocre scene.
Present-Day Reflection
6/24/2026
Sometimes all I have to arm myself with as I move forward is hope. I bolster myself with as much research as I can to provide a sense of security, trying to avoid the feeling I’m just building on air. I’ve also been known to occasionally wait for inspiration, or a fresh point of view that excites me, before putting pen to paper. I had the luxury of time in those days to do that. However, whenever the moment of truth finally arrives, all I really have to carry me through is hope.
I’ve never had much use for the notion of faith, which to my mind is a dangerous alchemy of believing and wishing. I’ve always leaned more toward Heinlein’s quip that “learning ends where belief begins.” Deep down, I don’t really believe I’m going to pull off what I’m attempting, because when have things ever gone as planned? They usually turn out better or worse. Or simply different.
So, when pushing forward into the dark with no real beliefs to light my way, shining only with a desire to get lucky and maybe discover something beautiful and interesting – what am I to call that?
