104: Finding My Way Home
11/7/2015
I haven’t written at all for seven days now. I decided not to stress about it this time though. I’m being more permissive, allowing myself to relax, recharge, regroup – though keeping in mind that the clock is still ticking.
What I have done, however, is come up with the outline for each chapter in Part Three: Ghost Frog. I even got the titles figured out for those 20 chapters yet to be written. This creation of an outline is a huge thing and crucial for me before I can begin, but it only took me a couple days. The rest of the work has been…
I actually have no idea what I’ve been doing. I drew a sketch of The Great Mother (baobab tree) and caught up on my correspondences. But beyond that I haven’t even been reading, so I’m not sure.
Present-Day Reflection
9/6/2026
This permissiveness was actually more of surrender than anything. Or at the very least, a strategic retreat from an overwhelming enemy force – the phantom menace of the unknown. And of course, fatigue – exhausted from the constant battle being waged against unforeseen obstacles as I blindly forge my way through the dark.
This sense of surrender, or retreat, is always temporary though. It has nothing to do with giving up or quitting. Even though the break sometimes takes on the form of an indefinite sabbatical of months, or even years. I always find my way back home and pick up where I left off.
I have a lot of other interests that fulfill me – things that I’m passionate about and could spend a lifetime pursuing. But I only have the one life and I’ve long since resigned myself to this marriage with my Batu work. So, no matter how appealing my other interests may be, I always find my way home again.
Eventually.
