131: A Sense of Atmosphere
9/18/2024
I finished Chapter 61: The Jola yesterday. It came in at 9 pages and 2,554 words. I’m still too close to it to know for sure, but I think it’s probably not very good. The overall vision of it in my mind is good, but I suspect it’s written with way too much reliance on research, rendering it contrived and clunky. No freshness, no sense of wonder, and completely inorganic.
But… It’s good enough for now. Nothing a good rewrite can’t fix once I get ahold of a computer. The bones of what’s needed are there. Time to move on to Chapter 66: Saying Goodbye. For which I have no research notes whatsoever. We’ll see if this works out better.
Present-Day Reflection
10/3/2026
Having reread Chapter 61: The Jola just a couple days ago – and it being two years since I wrote it – I think I can say now that it stands fairly well. Yes, it’s got a good deal of research propping it up, but I didn’t find it to be overly contrived and clunky this time. Though, it has been rewritten with quite a few deletions over the past two years.
Makoa and Banda – particularly in the opening sequence prior to the when the women arrived – left me with a wonderful sense of actually being there with them. Experiencing the morning vibe of starting a new day, yet in place and time that is totally alien to me. It felt timeless in its atmospheric portrayal of the scene.
