102: Riding the Pendulum
10/24/2015
Well, I finished Siona’s Reading; Guma’s Tree; and Departure – fixing Kanunga and Tuk in their place, which made me rethink Face Painting. And in rethinking that, I got my hook on how to write Brothers, which I did today.
This is pretty damn good work for two days, and the quality on all of it is top-notch. I’m very happy now. So, I only have seven chapters left in Twa Yal-Jukun, and I know I’ll be getting two done tomorrow – Face Painting and The Figs. I thought for sure I had blown my deadline for this month, but I’m kicking ass now, and if I keep it going, I’ll be done with Part Two BEFORE the end of the month!
Present-Day Reflection
9/4/2026
This is the way it goes it seems, swinging from one extreme to another. Stuck in the mud one minute, on top of the world the next, then repeat. Is this really necessary though?
I’ve read that the purpose of emotions is to bring nuance to our reactions, so we’re not so binary and always at one extreme or the other. Running away in blind terror from every noise that startles us and running at full speed toward everything that seems a little good, isn’t at all practical. Unlike insects, our energy requirements require a much more conservative strategy.
And yet, when I’m in love – or obsessed with a passion project that completely absorbs me – I have the tendency of feeling in a very binary fashion. All is hopeless, or I’m kicking ass and unstoppable.
The real illusion though is the feeling that I’m jumping from one extreme state to the other, when in fact I experience the full range of the spectrum. I tend to only focus on memories involving extremes, and seem to be more motivated to record them in this journal. I oscillate from one to the other, but I’m not strongly compelled to act while the pendulum swings through the middling mix of milder emotions.
Is this necessary? I’m not sure, but with experience comes awareness, which helps me enjoy the ride when there’s nothing I can do about it. Or nothing I’d want to do about it.
