42: Priorities
12/31/2012
I started a Batu sketchbook last Thursday (1/3). I’ve got seven pages filled with Batu illustrations already. Two pages per day is pretty good for me, considering the quality is fairly high.
Been reading Shakespeare’s Henry IV, Part One and Two. Starting Henry V tonight. No progress on The Wounded yet. I’ve really been enjoying the sketchbook stuff. That and Shakespeare are all I’ve focused on. I’ve even been neglecting my correspondence. I have two letters on hold, waiting… waiting…
Present-Day Reflection
7/6/2026
Waiting used to be one of my worst habits. Waiting for inspiration to hit. Waiting for the right mood. Waiting for windows of opportunity to just magically open for me. Waiting for my luck to change. Waiting for the world to start being fair. Waiting for someone who actually cares and knows how to listen. Waiting for someone to recognize my potential and offer me a shot at the life I always thought I should be living. Waiting for things to get easier. Waiting to die…
Call it procrastination, lack of inertia, depression, self-doubt, being in a funk, laziness… Call it whatever you want, it’s all bullshit. It’s all a choice, and it’s a choice I no longer indulge in. Not for long, anyway. I may have an hour or two, or even a bad day now and then when I slip back into the pattern of waiting for something better to happen on its own. But for the most part I’ve gotten much better at staying on track and making things happen for myself.
It all comes down to self-reliance and focusing on the work. I don’t need or want luck, and I don’t need or want any single individual’s help. I don’t need more than what I already have, whether its love, money or opportunities. I just need to use what I already have while keeping my focus on the work.
Nothing the external world tells me to care about matters. All that matters is the work. So long as I focus on that, and I do the best that I can, everything else that truly matters will fall into place. The only way my needs or wants matter is in how they affect the quality and efficient outflow of the work.
