58: Time for Better Eyes
5/26/2013
Well, I’ve been busy, but not on the Kanar breakdowns at all. I’ve been hustling to get the sixth scene of The Wounded done by today, which I did! So, I got one last brief scene and Chapter Seven will be done.
This sixth scene posed interesting challenges, what with the action sequence involving the crocodile. Action sequences are difficult for me, maintaining the tension, fear, suspense – all the necessary emotions. And it’s really hard to tell how close I come to succeeding. Rereading it now tells me nothing. It’s a cold fish. I have to come back to it in a month or so and reread it fresh. But I think it’s okay.
Some nice elements emerged from this scene – a few surprises. One being that I spontaneously decided to make Alena’s eyes crystalline gray. A mark of distinction from everybody else in a physical way that helps set her further apart. I think it also adds to the exotic appeal, while feeding into her future talent as an oracle.
The other thing to emerge was their first kiss. Not with lips, of course, but with their foreheads and ear caressing as the Batu do. This occurred organically from Alena’s examination of Diallo’s amulet, but I thought after it was added that it was always necessary. Because the next chapter will pick up years later when they’re in the midst of their relationship, and I needed something more definite now pointing to where they are headed. Besides, I can’t write Mogai’s story without including his first kiss. I’m not sure yet if I want to include his first sexual experience in the next chapter or have it already a done deal.
The problem is their age. But the story schedule can’t wait. Alena’s got to go at fourteen, and I have no interest in pursuing their romance indefinitely beyond the next chapter’s tragedy. I’m not writing a romance novel. Love only exists to inflict pain, not for its own sake.
Yes, I’m a cruel god. Just like the one who is writing my life story.
Two lines of interest stand out for me in this sixth scene as well, when Diallo begins to realize he may not die from the crocodile after all: Every moment that he was alive his expectations for remaining that way became stronger and stronger. His confidence, as with his faith, was built upon the mud of the world.
I like how this observation contrasts with Alena’s faith, which is true faith because it requires no proofs of experience to fortify it. Diallo’s faith, if that’s what it is, is based on the external world while Alena’s comes from within. And the mud of the world ties in nicely with the mudhole where they’re both facing death together.
Present-Day Reflection
7/22/2026
Until rereading this just now, I had completely forgotten that this is where I decided to go with the eyes of the nabi for Alena. It never ceases to amaze me as I go back over these journal entries how late into the creative process some of my key elements got introduced for the first time. Which, of course, explains part of the reason why I had to go back and rewrite the entire narrative so many times.
I truly appreciate not being a professional writer, in the sense of having to publish in order to pay the bills. Being able to take decades to develop and rework the entire series – constantly updating key elements without having to stick to a Batu canon that’s established by previous publications – gives me the creative freedom I need to shape and reshape the whole series precisely how I want it. Having that holistic view—which really only comes once everything exists in draft form—has been essential for me.
I suspect there’s no way to get rid of regrets entirely, and that someday after it’s all published, I will still look back and wish I’d done this or that differently. I’m just hoping that pushing off publication dates as long as I have has minimized this.
